Wombat Returns!

Well friends, it's been a long time, but the Wombat is back. It's been a hell of a year, let me tell you.



It all started when a friend invited me to accompany him on a vacation to Rio de Janeiro. We actually had a lovely time, until the very last day. We were on the beach at Ipanema, just hours away from leaving, and I was riding in Colin's backpack when all of a sudden two guys did a tag-team number on my buddy and kidnapped me!



I can't go into the details, but it took *months* and several spectacularly failed escape attempts before I made it back to the United States.

I'll write more later, but I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm here!

A more successful shopping trip

I have continued to be consumed by a burning desire to wear clothes, even though the weather is becoming warmer by the day. It must come from living with humans. Having given up on people stores, I went to a place more suited to a bloke of my stature. Yes, the pet store.

They had a surprisingly vast array of clothing choices. I had my eye on a dashing wool peacoat and some delightfully frilly dresses, but the sweaters seemed to fit me the best.

This one wasn't bad, though it did make my torso look a tad overlarge. Still, a reasonably good fit, and I did enjoy the way the blues and greens complimented the dusky chocolate richness of my fur.

Ahh, the pink sweater. Such a darling piece, and so soft. It's a terrible shame it was too long. Wearing it made me feel so pretty and sweet, I almost wanted to dance around the store singing songs from musicals.

Who doesn't love argyle? Don't you think it makes me look intellectual? It wasn't a bad fit, either. This stayed in my shopping cart until I found...

...this, the most fantastic and wonderful of wombat garments! The Little Red Sweater, as I have come to think of it. The color, the collar, the ribbing, the stripe, the obvious high quality of fabrication - everything a wombat could want in a sweater. Next to this, the argyle is just a cheap, pallid, tasteless rag. Oh, Little Red Sweater, joy of my life! There's nothing like finding the perfect garment while on a shopping quest.


At the store, I also met a lovely, sultry lady with a fantastic figure who was just the right size. I was starting to believe in things like fate and love at first sight, until..

... she introduced me to her boyfriend. Alas, my hopes for love with a similarly-sized female were dashed just as they started to take root. Well, at least he was a nice fellow and very friendly, and I ended the day with two new friends who don't make me feel like a pygmy among giants.

Wear Wombat!

It's my goal to become an international sensation (fame and fortune, here I come!) so do your part to help, and buy some products from Wombat Wearables, my new online store! Display your wombat products with pride, and tell all your friends!

Milk Carton

(One of the many designs availble on merchandise for sale at Wombat Wearables.)

Wombat Wearables! My new online store!

I now have a clothing line! Wombat Wearables is the latest in fashion and home accessories. ^_^

More designs at the shop coming very soon!

Happy Spring Everyone!

a trip to the mall

Even with a built-in fur coat t's just been too damn cold to go without clothes lately. So I took a jaunt down to the local mall and did a little bit of shopping. Man, what a crowd! I was almost trampled at least three times. That's the last time I go to the mall on a Friday night.

I thought the shoes looked rather dashing and made me feel a little bit like a swashbuckler, but wearing them was a mite too awkward. I don't think wombats are quite far enough along in the evolutionary chain to walk on our hind legs.

This shade of green is a marvelous on me, don't you think? It's just too bad I couldn't find one of these in my size.

I made a new friend! And she's not even *that* much taller than me. She wouldn't tell me what happened to her that she had to wear so many bandages, but she was awful sweet and helped me look for clothes. She even gave me her email address. Score!

After tramping the entire massive length of the shopping mall, I finally found a store that had clothes for little guys! The cool stuff wasn't quite the right size though, and I didn't much fancy wearing a tutu or sequined bathrobe.


This is the one thing I saw all day that really tempted me - it was a perfect fit, and doesn't it bring out the sparkle in my beady eyes? I came so close to buying it, but in the end decided that buying the necklace would mean I'd have to buy a whole new outfit to go with it, and sadly that sort of expenditure just isn't it my budget at the mo'. Someday though, someday...

pints of sorrow

I'm sorry I haven't posted here in a while. I've been in a bit of a funk. I was invited to accompany someone on a trip back to Oz - but I missed the plane! Possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity to visit my homeland... and I was so close. I have to admit there was more than one tear wetting my fur as I watched that plane taxi away.

I was looking forward to that trip so much that the disappointment of missing it was quite crushing. It sent me spiraling downwards into a quagmire of depression. I've spent the past couple of weeks drowning my sorrows in pints - Jack and Jose, and Ben & Jerry have been my best friends.

But I think I'm finally coming out of the worst of it. I'll be posting more pictures here in the next day or two, I swear!

winter chill

Brrrr! It's cold out there! I really should get some good winter boots, and maybe one of those puffy coats. Or maybe I'll just stay inside, burrowed under a pile of blankets. Yeah, that sounds good.

Happy Hour

Barry and Jonathan invited me to join them and their coworkers for something called "Happy Hour" earlier this week. From the name, I thought there might be silly games or show tunes or maybe strippers making balloon animals. Turns out it wasn't quite what I expected. We had a good time though.

There were big glasses of beer and lots of fried food - onion rings, potato skins, and I tried calamari for the first time even though the tentacles were kind of creepy. I think the pint of beer I drank beforehand helped me get over those heebie-jeebies.

Turns out that playing video game golf is just as boring as watching it on TV, even with a good beer buzz. Do they ever have cool video games at bars?

The video games may have been less than captivating, but learning how to play pool was lots of fun. I think my favorite part was racking up the balls at the beginning.

I actually won one of the games! Maybe I'll quit my job and become a smooth-talking pool shark. I'll have to buy some slick shades, and maybe a leather jacket....

Food, glorious food!

Mooching off of my hosts for months finally took its toll on my conscience (and they ran out of ice cream), so last weekend I made my first trip to the grocery store. What a place! Aisles upon aisles of delicious food, a head-spinning array of culinary choices! It's probably a good thing I only had twenty bucks on me.

The carts were fun too - like bumper cars, only without bumpers, and more trunk space. Next time I'll keep a closer eye out for old ladies. They sure seem to get grumpy when you knock into their cart. Or the backs of their knees.

Ben & Jerry's, my favorite! Sweet, delicious ice cream! The nectar of the gods!

Wheee! Hee hee, she almost tried to ring me up. Good thing I didn't get that barcode tattoo Barry was trying to talk me into.

I don't think the checkout girl has ever waited on a wombat before. She seemed a bit nonplussed. All in all, it was a good experience though. What a big place! I can't wait 'til next grocery day!

New pics and stuff coming soon.. Boy, this weather sure makes me want to nap!

Drill me, doc!

I guess I let freedom go to my head - it's a heady thing to be able to snack whenever I want. You might say I overindulged over the holidays, and now all that candy I ate at Christmas is taking its toll on me. I don't think sugar is in the natural diet of a wombat.



Fortunately my job has a health plan.

I was kinda scared, but the dentist was nice. And we listened to oldies on the radio while he worked on me. He knew the singer and year of every song - I think he listens to that station a lot. Or maybe he's some kind of savant.

Who wouldn't want to kiss an adorable mug like that? Lay it on me, honeys. I'm free this Saturday evening....

...maybe I should put an ad on Craigslist...

"Cute and cuddy, four-legged bundle of love looking for a hot Saturday night. Let my animal magnetism draw you into a night of sensual delights unheard of this side of the equator. Must like short men. Those with fleas need not apply."

A wombat's gotta make a living.

It's hard to travel without spending any money, even when you're little like me. And it makes it a lot more difficult to pick up hotties. So I found me a job.

I considered pickpocketing, but decided there was too much risk of getting caught. I hear it's not such a good thing to be the little guy in the jailhouse shower. So I thought maybe panhandling would be the way to go. Some of those bums on the street actually make as much money as government employees, or so I've been told. But that didn't work out too well either. I staked out a busy streetcorner, but apparently it was some other guy's territory and he didn't take kindly to my intrusion. Boy did he smell bad. So I wasn't inclined to stick around and argue about it. It wasn't all that lucrative anyway. Apparently the passing drivers had a hard time seeing me from their cars. It's tough being short.

It was time to try a legitimate job. There were lots of ads in the paper, and what do you know, I got the first one I applied for...

...at a liquor store! I'm right lucky.

I learned how to strap beer into six packs. It's a lot harder than it looks, but I can do a whole case in a jiffy now.

I stock beer...

...and nick one for myself every now and then.

Working the register is my favorite part of the job. I love gabbing with all the customers, even if some of them smell almost as bad as that bum.

My coworkers are good blokes too.

All in all, not a bad way for a wombat to make a few bucks!

Christmas

Christmas sure is different here in the US. It's funny to have it in the winter. I'm told it's usually even colder this time of year!



It was fun, but I was disappointed that there weren't any flaming desserts. I got lots of candy in my stocking though - mmm!

G'day mates! I'm Wombat, and this here's my blog. The title is "The Wandering Wombat" because I escaped from my owner's house (prompted by a murder attempt by one of his roommates, but that's a story for another day..) and now I'm on an extended holiday - meeting new people and experiencing things that I'd wager no other wombat ever has. I created this blog to share my adventures with the world, through the miracle that is the internet.

It's rather hard to type with legs that are only an inch long, so my entries will probably be brief, but I'll take lots of pictures!